This article was submitted by Allan Nightingale.
Tina Turner once asked, “What’s love got to do with it?” I decided to answer her.
Love breathes life and mourns a loss. Love knows compassion and lessons learned. Love is tender, caring, helpful and confused. Love is weak. Love is strong. Love is an uncontrolled, unchained, unseen entity. Love is real. Love is ASMR. Love is.
Some of us, at least once during our tingly adventures, have fallen in love with an ASMRtist. It’s nothing to be ashamed of, it happens to the best of us, and I will freely admit it even happened to me. Why though? What’s love got to do with it? As stated above love cannot be controlled or seen, it just is. We don’t come looking for love but we do watch for relaxation and tingles while others who suffer from mental or bodily ailments come for personal relief as well. When we find a video that does exactly what we were searching for we can’t help but like the person who created it. They get us. So we like and sub and wait.
And as time goes by we watch other videos they make, or have made, knowing we are sure to enjoy them just as much as we did the first one after discovering his or her channel, not always of course, but we let that go. This person is a friend now. At our choosing we can see each other every single day or night. Anytime we need comfort or compassion they are always there for us caressing our faces, comforting our minds, relaxing our souls. Never an argument. Never judged. Always there just for you and always when needed. A trusted friend who’s just a click away. An angel on earth.
So you watch and leave nice comments. Sometimes you get equally nice responses. She really cares. And she does except she cares about everyone. She has answered lots of people, not just you, and talking privately to others too. Suddenly we are wearing blinders wrapped around our love goggles. Those other people don’t matter. They don’t count. We have something special. So you watch her videos and her endless compassion for your troubles knows no boundaries, just like the Internet, just like your love. The only problem is she has no idea who you are because you are just a camera in a quiet empty room. But the rapport has started.
Now you may be talking longer. A week goes by but it seems like a day. Now it’s months and you’ve been talking almost every day in private messages and all is well. Maybe you’re sending her keystroke roses to make her smile when she may be feeling low because nothing makes you happier than knowing she is okay. She is what matters most. This is your way of giving back to her on an equally intimate stage. And she likes it, asks for more, and your heart glows. You have so much in common yet the things you don’t are not so bad. You want to learn about everything she likes so you have more to talk about and even more in common. You click links, you watch shows, you read books and online sites. You want to be just as intelligent and articulate as she is. Your world is expanding all because of her. Your mind is working 1000 miles per hour and you love it. You want more. Another video brings another message and the bond grows stronger.
But suddenly she’s gone silent. You don’t exist. Other “lovers” have taken your place. What you thought was a deeper mutual affection was all in your mind. She was just having safe flirtatious fun. Are you blind? What the hell do you do now? Get jealous? Get possessive? Get mad? Scream? Yell? Cry!? Have you noticed the ring on her finger yet? Have you ignored the parts where she talks about her husband, boyfriend or fiancee, about her kids, about their life? Have you come to grips with the fact she lives in another Province or State, in another Country, or on another Continent!? Or is she just down the street? It makes no difference.
ASMR love goggles make you blind but worst of all they will make you crazy because for many this is not love its infatuation. It does happen and it’s nothing to feel remorse about but you need to let go whether you want to or not because it will never become what you might want it to be. Love may be many things but it is not a computer screen and you are not a camera. Love cannot be manipulated or touched or controlled. It’s just not healthy for anyone to believe that the person they are watching is ever going to be more than just that.
Realizing the truth and letting go of a fantasy can be very emotional but in the end it’s the healthiest thing you can do for yourself. Living a life of what could be, what might have been and what if’s is not living honestly, it’s just living the dream, without any perks. You are doing the right thing, not for him or her, but for you. And you are what matters most right now. I know from experience the pain and sadness that accompany letting go and still do when reminded on a daily basis so I emphatically applaud you for your courage. So what’s love got to do with it? Everything, and nothing at all. Love will find a way. Just not in all the wrong places.