Local ASMRtist snaps, attacks loud neighbors

Observers inside and outside the ASMR community were saddened, but not surprised to find out local ASMRtist WhisperingCitadel attacked her two upstairs neighbors. It was the culmination of six months of noise complaints, arguments and empty promises. While her videos were often saved from the noise via careful editing and retakes, her personal life was affected.

“It got to be offensive for her after a while,” a friend close to WhisperingCitadel told ASMRYouReady. “She talked to them at least twenty times, went to her landlord — everything!”

But it wasn’t enough to stop the noise. The neighbors in question are Joseph Hammer, 29, and Maryanne Dropper, 31.  Hammer’s original last name was Neiman but changed back in 2004 during what he called “a really transitional point in [his] life.”

“I was letting a lot of things get the best of me. I found peace in hammers that I can’t find anywhere else.”

Hammer heavily denied that his hammering took place at all hours of the night. Maryanne Dropper, despite her alliterative last name, does not describe herself as clumsy. “I don’t drop many things. The worst I get is maybe letting the cat jump out of my arms and onto the floor.” However, she later admitted to ASMRYouReady, “My husband is the worst out of us both. That man loves his ‘sledges.”

WhisperingCitadel would have happily agreed. WhisperingCitadel’s Tumblr posts under the same username painted a story of a woman losing her sanity. In a post dated from March of this year, she wrote, “The noise never stops. Thunk, thunk, thunk, thud. And between every thud I hear a man scream like his chest is being split open. I hear it in my sleep, I hear it at work, I feel it in my keyboard when I type and in my shoes when I walk. It’s killing me.” The following words were illegible.

But things only took a turn for the worst this past August, when WhisperingCitadel abruptly stopped making videos and instead posted hour long videos of her apartment, with hammering noise and screaming audible in the background. A final image, posted on her Tumblr two hours before the attack, shows her jumping up happily in front of what looks like two concert speakers, a gold cymbal in each hand. We do not presently know where the speakers came from.

WhisperingCitadel began her attack around 5:34 just this afternoon. Maryanne tells the story: “I kept the curtains closed around that time to keep the sun out. I didn’t notice the speakers block out the sun until Joseph mentioned something.”

Witnesses in neighboring apartments described what came afterward, “The Star-Spangled Banner started playing and took out our windows,” neighbor Bethany Rivers is quoted as saying. “I’ve never heard anything like it, and I’m afraid I never will again.” Upon being asked to comment further, she shook her head and said, “What? Further conga?”

Joseph and Maryanne were knocked to the floor as the concert speakers roared at over 135 decibels. Seconds later, WhisperingCitadel kicked in their door. Wearing noise blocking headphones, she began bashing two cymbals, presumably in-time to the music.

“I could see her laughing.” Joseph recalled. “This girl was just banging those cymbals like a one-woman marching band and laughing the whole time.” Joe described struggling to his feet as the song ended. “My ears were ringing, I — I barely avoided being decapitated by a cymbal.” WhisperingCitadel reportedly charged into the house proper as “Through the Fire and Flames” came next on the playlist. Joseph had grabbed his wife from the floor and rushed into the living room, WhisperingCitadel in hot pursuit, allegedly carrying a sword. “I had to think fast. I grabbed a sledgehammer from the safe.” The battle that followed, described by several witnesses as “unspeakably metal”, included WhisperingCitadel battling Joseph Hammer in a duel to the death.

The fight ended only after police arrived on the scene at 6:48pm. WhisperingCitadel was tasered by Officer Brian Gant. “She was still screaming about silence even after I got her two times in the side,” the officer related. “Took about three people to get her into the squad car.” Amazingly, only minor injuries were reported from the sword fight. Joseph and Maryanne are undergoing treatment, and expect to regain their hearing entirely with time.

The costs of this horrible moment, in both medical, physical and spiritual damage, are estimated around $950,000. We tried to get into contact with WhisperingCitadel to give her input as to what happened but received no reply. Her attorney instead released this statement, “I am a crusader for silence. My war on noise shall not end.”

(Image used under Creative Commons license. Credit to Pedro Ribeiro Simões.)