The 5 ASMR Commenters Who Are Doing It Wrong

If you’ve been in the ASMR community for a while, you will have seen a thing or two about what goes on in the comments. And if you’ve seen the comments, you know who we’re talking about.

1. The One Who Thinks Everything is Sexual

This person is apparently very confused as to what sex is or what it sounds like. They’re the ones commenting on the sounds of cutting paper comparing it to a bl** j**. Maybe their headphones are severely damaged or they left some other tab open. One can only hope.

2. The One Who Hates This Trigger but Clicked On It Anyway

No one is really sure what this person wants. No one has tricked them into thinking this trigger isn’t in this video. It’s been titled and labeled correctly. They just decided to submit themselves to an experience they know will gross them out or make them angry for no… reason… at all. And now need to include everyone else in their distress apparently. They just really don’t love themselves.

3. The One Who Totally Loves Their Videos, But Also Hates Everything They Do

This one always complains about everything the ASMRtist makes. Their setup isn’t right. The sounds are too loud. They don’t like the speed of your tapping. From big to small, nothing is good enough. But despite all this, they promise you that they completely love you and your videos and have been fans for a long time. It’s not hard to wonder if maybe they got lost on their way here.

4. The One Who Really Wants to Marry Them

This person has completely fallen in love with this ASMRtist. Not a crush. They don’t just think they’re amazing. In. Love. Maybe it’s how they crinkled that newspaper that one time, or how they always start out with “Hey everyone,” or how totally they totally accepted their request for a new whisper ramble. Some might think it’s directed toward no one in particular… but they know it’s secretly all for them and that the ASMRtist would love them too if they would just give them a chance and accept their proposal.

5. The One Who Just Found the “Weird Side of YouTube” Again

This poor soul has no idea how they got here and is allergic to Google. They are very angry and confused and they really need to tell everyone who can hear them, with a plethora of caps lock and exclamation points. It’s particularly amusing to suggest ASMR to help them with all that stress.

And there you go! The five kinds of ASMR commentors who just really, really don’t seem to get it. Hope you enjoyed! Let us know in the comments if we missed any!

(Image used under the Creative Commons license. Credit to Brian Auer.)